Mothers and daughters

So many things to do today, but I sit here and write instead. Why is it so hard to get motivated? I work all week and when the weekend comes, I am a lazy person looking for all kinds of excuses not to do anything. Maybe I will clean my son's room. Or not. Maybe my daughter's room that she left messy when she moved out two days ago? I already miss her. She hasn't called in two days! I am going to let her have her space...
Mothers and daughters. I have never been able to figure that whole thing out. Why is that relationship so hard on both? Why do I have scars from long ago that have never completley healed? How do I get over the hurt feelings and betrayal I still feel, even though it has been so many years ago? I wish I could forget it all....all the nights I sat by the front door, awake, making sure she didn't leave. And now, still, I feel that same pain, and wish it had all never happened. I wish just once, she would tell me she was sorry for all that. Maybe that would heal my heart, I don't know.
Things are better now, and have been for a while yet...... Make no mistake, we love each other, but there are some things that I cannot tell her, even now. I know that I cannot tell her anything without noticing "that" look on her face. I dislike "that" look so much. It tells me she is not listening, and not interested in my opinions or advice. She would rather go ask someone else. Doesn't she understand that I would die for her, and want nothing less than the absolute best for her? Maybe someday she will understand. I see her spend her time with people who are not her equals. AND she listens to them. I wish I could tell her how I feel about her choices, but I am afraid I will get "that" look. I want to tell her not to do certain things, even though she might want to. I want to tell her my REAL feelings about how she lives her life, and how she could make it so much better and more meaningfull, but I stop short. Do you lay it all out and risk loosing your daughter? Or do you just smile and say nothing, hoping someday she will wake up and realize how much time she waisted? Let them make their own mistakes! I learned from my mistakes, let me save you some time and heartache...........I want to see you happy! More than anything in this world, I want to see you happy.........................