Work, work, work......for what?

It's 4am, and my alarm is making that annoying sound. I want to reach over and throw it against the wall, let it smash into a thousand little pieces....But, I don't do that. Reason prevails, and I hit the snooze button, and try to sleep for a few more minutes. When I finally get up, and make my way into the shower, I am thinking of a reason not to go in to work. I can, of course, never find one that I won't feel guilty about. I am like that. But I sure would love to. I hit the road about 5:45 for the hour and 10 minute drive to work. I have been working in this dental clinic for 7 years now. I LOVE my job, and the interaction with people, but this year I have realized that I will not be able to do this much longer. The ungodly hour, the LONG drive, the stress with both, not to mention the drama that never ends at work, has made me realize all this. My hands hurt from using the instruments I use every day, and my grip is so bad, that some days, my hand literally freezes and I have to excuse myself and try to get it to work again. Not to mention the constant pain in my wrist and fingers, that sometimes wake me up at night I am just getting to old for all of it. I want to retire and sit on the front porch, or paint, or travel, or do anything else but what I am doing now. But I can't. I am helping pay for my son's college, and our house, and that makes it impossible to quit now. My husband works two jobs, for the same reason. He, however, wants to work, and really enjoys it. SO.............................................
When I hear my son say he blew off class for the day, I almost start to cry. WHAT am I killing myself for? WHY do my husband and I work out buts off? So he can sleep late and NOT go to class, while I have to drag my ass up at 4 a.m.? It really makes me feel like he doesn't appreciate all the stuff my husband and I do for him. And I guess he really doesn't. I was just hoping that somehow he would have realized that, and would have worked that much harder, to make us see how much he appreciates it all. Too much to ask of a 21 year old, I guess..................